Aren’t you tired of seeing pictures of beautiful food? I am too. That’s why I wanted to resume blogging so I can show you how ugly my food is. This is a piece of toast. Because I think outside the box, I chose to spread some pumpkin yogurt on it. I also put honey on it, not because I thought it needed to be sweetened but because I thought a drizzle of honey seemed kind of classy. It actually tasted pretty good. I think it would pair well with whiskey. And gravy fries.

Aren’t you tired of seeing pictures of beautiful food? I am too. That’s why I wanted to resume blogging so I can show you how ugly my food is. This is a piece of toast. Because I think outside the box, I chose to spread some pumpkin yogurt on it. I also put honey on it, not because I thought it needed to be sweetened but because I thought a drizzle of honey seemed kind of classy. It actually tasted pretty good. I think it would pair well with whiskey. And gravy fries.

I eat one of these fig bars from Trader Joe’s whenever I want a snack that I don’t really enjoy but is soft enough that I can just swallow it whole. But I don’t swallow it whole because then I wouldn’t get all those little fig seeds stuck in my teeth. And that’s what it’s really about.

I eat one of these fig bars from Trader Joe’s whenever I want a snack that I don’t really enjoy but is soft enough that I can just swallow it whole. But I don’t swallow it whole because then I wouldn’t get all those little fig seeds stuck in my teeth. And that’s what it’s really about.

This is why my apartment always smells like garlic and mushrooms. It’s mostly garlic and mushrooms. Also some soy sauce and rice. There’s also eggplant, but let’s be honest - you didn’t ask to hear my life story.

This is why my apartment always smells like garlic and mushrooms. It’s mostly garlic and mushrooms. Also some soy sauce and rice. There’s also eggplant, but let’s be honest - you didn’t ask to hear my life story.

For lunch today I had this sensible pile of stupid vegetables and a turkey corn dog. I actually like vegetables, but when you eat them with something as delicious as a corn dog, they start to seem really stupid. It’s just like, “Why aren’t YOU fried in a cornbread batter, BROCCOLI?” Dumb vegetables.

For lunch today I had this sensible pile of stupid vegetables and a turkey corn dog. I actually like vegetables, but when you eat them with something as delicious as a corn dog, they start to seem really stupid. It’s just like, “Why aren’t YOU fried in a cornbread batter, BROCCOLI?” Dumb vegetables.

Ever open the fridge and all you’ve got is mushrooms, a bunch of broccoli and a little fried rice? If you answered yes, then you’ve got all it takes for a very unsatisfying meal.

Ever open the fridge and all you’ve got is mushrooms, a bunch of broccoli and a little fried rice? If you answered yes, then you’ve got all it takes for a very unsatisfying meal.

An egg white sandwich. It’s the perfect breakfast for those mornings when you feel weird because you woke up from a dream where you were a horse swimming underwater.

An egg white sandwich. It’s the perfect breakfast for those mornings when you feel weird because you woke up from a dream where you were a horse swimming underwater.

You know what THAT is? That is also a frozen product from Trader Joe’s.  It’s the spanakopita and it’s pretty good but it’s no turkey corn dog, people. It’s especially good for impatient people who like to burn their tongue on scalding hot spinach juice.

You know what THAT is? That is also a frozen product from Trader Joe’s. It’s the spanakopita and it’s pretty good but it’s no turkey corn dog, people. It’s especially good for impatient people who like to burn their tongue on scalding hot spinach juice.

I highly recommend the turkey corn dogs from Trader Joe’s. You can just pop them in the toaster oven and cook until the stick turns black, like I do.  It’s hard to describe a turkey corn dog, but from what I understand, it tastes like happiness.  With mustard.

I highly recommend the turkey corn dogs from Trader Joe’s. You can just pop them in the toaster oven and cook until the stick turns black, like I do.  It’s hard to describe a turkey corn dog, but from what I understand, it tastes like happiness.  With mustard.

Boston Baked Beans

Our neighbor gave us a package of Boston Baked Beans as a thank you gift for getting his mail while he was gone (in Boston.)  I just ate a few handfuls of them. They aren’t really my candy of choice but they score a lot of points for being here, in my home.  Then again, eating them just forced me to think about how strange it is to get a thank you gift for picking up someone’s mail, and they lost all those aforementioned points.  All in all, an experience that was neither pleasant, nor unpleasant.  (Feel free to use that slogan, Boston Baked Bean people!)

For breakfast today, I wanted something that contained as much calcium as an 8 oz glass of milk.  I had my choice between an actual 8 oz glass of milk or a chocolate pudding cup that advertised exactly that.  I chose the pudding because I’m not insane.  It was alright.  Probably needed more calcium.

For breakfast today, I wanted something that contained as much calcium as an 8 oz glass of milk.  I had my choice between an actual 8 oz glass of milk or a chocolate pudding cup that advertised exactly that.  I chose the pudding because I’m not insane.  It was alright.  Probably needed more calcium.